Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Screw Up - Day 8

Yesterday I ate
B: 2 cups warm water with juice of 2 small lemons
1 tub egg white salad
- 1 carb, -1 fruit

L:Everest grilled chicken salad with 6 oz chicken and 1 egg (plus 2 on the protein)
-1 carb, +2 protein

D: 4 risotto balls with mozzarella cheese, dipped in marinara, 5 endive leaves with chicken curry

Dessert: 3/4s huge ice cream sundae with whipped cream, chocolate and strawberry sauce, some nuts, three scoops ice cream, 2 chocolate chip cookies

I have no idea why I ate that ice cream. I know that ice cream doesn’t help me with my fitness goal. I know it isn’t my food. I know I could have ordered 1 scoop if I had really wanted it. But all of my sanity and healthy notions flew out of the window somehow. I know part of it is a fear I am harboring about a big change coming up in my life. I also know part of it is fear of success…but not a big part of it…I don’t think. So sometimes I just do things like this to remind me that I am a food addict that that there are things I do with food that just don’t make any sense. I sometimes start to think I am cured and then I realize that I am just a little better for just a day at a time…that I have a daily reprieve as long as I take care of myself and look at my emotional needs and emotional health.

So how do I recover (emotionally) from this deviation from my food plan? Well, I woke up and went to boot camp. I went to a meeting with people who know about food addiction, I went to yoga, and then I went to lunch with friends. Following lunch I got a manicure and a pedicure. I reminded myself that I make mistakes with food sometimes and that I really didn’t eat too much yesterday, I was negative 2 carbs, 5 fruits, 3 protein, and 3 vegetables…so maybe the damage isn’t too terrible with the calories. Maybe it will even out…but I was up over the weekend (that was sabotaging behavior) and I wanted to be down by Wednesday. But here’s the deal—I have time to make changes. I have time to recover from a mistake; it’s ok to experience the discomfort I’ve been feeling and to learn that I can recover from blowing it with the food…

Let’s see what the scale says…just information, just data. I’ll find out tomorrow morning.

1 comment:

jenicini said...

Ah, you fell off the wagon on your ice cream. But, you had a really good day otherwise! You'll be back on tomorrow. Thinking of you!