Attrition

All that is human must retrograde, if it do not advance. -Edward Gibbon

So how do I get myself to advance? How do I foster growth instead of attrition and loss? How do I keep the forward momentum instead of backsliding?

The meditation I read this morning suggests that, "Growth begins with acceptance of myself as I am." This feels like a powerful statement to me. It demands honesty. Yesterday a friend was describing her self-talk as she stepped on the scale. She used the phrase, "who am I kidding?" when she was wanting to eat an unhealthy/unplanned treat. That's such a terrific question: Who am I kidding? And yet, it's one thing to be brave enough to ask the question and another beast entirely to ready myself to answer it.

Today I am able to see a lot of the ugly parts of myself--I can list them, but will spare you. Fortunately, today I am also able to see a way out of "the uglies." I can see how helpful it is to say to myself, yes, Kristen, you are afraid and worried, but you can ask God to change that fear into faith. I say, yes, Kristen, you owe money, but you have a plan and you are working it, and your debt is evaporating. Today I said, yes, Kristen, you have a lot of weight to lose, but you are up and exercising and working and changing, and you are seeing the results of your work--4 dress sizes down in a year is so great. And guess what, Kristen, it doesn't matter how long this takes you, it just matters that you're honest and that you face it.

Bring it on!