Something is Wrong AND Lady Gaga

I have been having dizziness when I work out in the mornings. It first happened at the beginning of September...I was doing "mountain climbers" against the ramp that holds up the freeway--up to the top and back down, and I got down and my head was spinning. It went away after a few minutes. Then it started happening more regularly...every Tues & Thurs. (those are the "running" days). So I started to do my best sleuthing/deductive reasoning work to figure out what was going on.

Here's what I have guessed, as well as what others have suggested:

1) not enough food
2) too much caffeine
3) dropping my brain below my heart
4) not enough hydration
5) working out too hard (this is my favorite)
6) I'm having an allergic reaction to a new supplement I'm taking to help my fingernails grow. (It doesn't have extensive 3rd party research...well, it doesn't have ANY 3rd party research)

So, I ate food before working out. I keep to the high end of my calories. The extreme dizziness happened anyway. I stopped doing "froggy squats" because my head goes below my heart. Helped a little...but it still happened. I drank a whole bottle of water before working out, that helped...until I was crossing the street from the park to go back to the freeway underpass (it sounds like extreme urban boot camp doesn't it?...well, I wasn't carrying an AK--this time!) I stopped drinking the 1/2 c. of green tea I was told to drink before working out (caffeine and exercise rev the metabolism, giving a longer and stronger "burn.") Last year, from March until June I drank a little tea every morning before working out with no problems at all. But stopping the tea and the "Diet & Energy" supplement seemed to help with the dizziness...but just for one day. So what's left? I can't work out less hard...I have only two gears: off and on. If I can run, I run. If I can't, I don't. And, I'm fairly conservative, so I tend not to run. By the end of the workout I am drained, so it's walking. I'm still THE LAST person at boot camp to arrive after a run or a "station."

I have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday morning. We're going to do all of these blood tests for my thyroid (I've been on thyroid meds for about 2 years--my brother says they are the kind of meds that fat people need because they're too fat. I know, it's a complicated explanation, as everyone--including me--hears "you need thyroid meds" and reacts with a "Yippee!" because that means the weight is gonna fall right off...but in my case, apparently my obesity has effected the thyroid's ability to produce adequate hormone, and if I weren't obese it wouldn't be a problem. Hurtful, but true.) My cholesterol will also be tested, as will all of the "death factors." Last time my triglycerides were high and my doctor was worried. I'm sure my blood sugars and pancreas were mad too because I weighed 333 lbs. the last time I had a work up. That's right. I'm just under 5'9" and I weighed 1/3rd of a ton. (Is a ton 1000 lbs or 1200 lbs?) (just looked up "ton" on google and it's like the most complicated definition in the world...but it's more like 2000 lbs., so forget the drama from above...I weighed only 1/6th of a ton. That's virtually weightless!)

Anyway...

Yesterday, right after work, my student Olivia, whom I've given the assignment: "bring me the 411 on what music I need to buy to stay hip and cool" was having me watch a video on YouTube of a parody of Lady Gaga's Poker Face song. Olivia had to run; her mom was waiting. Since the day was over I decided to check out the real version of the Lady Gaga video (much better than the parody--and yet, really confusing...is Lady Gaga unattractive, short and bulky, or is she cute and seductive? Her voice is great...but hold the cameras still for a second, I need to figure out if she's heinous or not!). That video didn't help with my dilemma, so I watched another one...ended it early because the camera was less steady on her face, so I started the next video. In this one there were millions of people at a party in a 70's colored room, with 70's colored clothes (all browns and oranges). So I'm watching this and trying to get a read on her face and the monitor starts swimming. I mean it was like it was underwater. I started to feel nauseous and I broke out into a sweat all over my legs, arms, face, hands...everywhere. I put my head down on my desk. I relax my shoulders...AH! that's it, I've got too much tension in my shoulders, that's why I keep getting dizzy! Well, no, as it turns out. I turn my head to the right and BAM...it's back. I try to get up. Not a good idea. I think, I'm gonna fall over and no one will find me until tomorrow. I will die alone! Oh! The outrage!

So I drop my body, gently, to the floor and pick up my cellphone...the school phone has a long cord and is against the wall...no dialing in the handset, I knew I couldn't do it. I've got the school on speed dial (guess who runs late almost every morning?!) so I called the office. Linda & Debbie show up and they bring ice packs. They both accuse me of underreating! What? I had a B.A.S. (Big Ass Salad) for lunch with 4 carefully measured ounces of protein and 1/4 avocado...that's vegetables, protein, fat...I'm SOLID! But no carb...could it be carbs? I get a call from Clarke. She is worried about me because I'm not home, then I tell her I'm lying on the floor of my office and she is REALLY worried. She tells me I'm working out too hard and not eating enough. AARRGGHH! I weigh more than 250 lbs...how could I possibly need to eat more and work out less?

Linda drives me home, we leave my car at work. I watch TV and eat. I eat peanut butter, which is taboo. I eat it with chocolate chips and honey and it is delicious but still taboo. I eat spaghetti and meatballs for dinner (Todd says I have to make dinner for him no matter what, so I am a truly good and obedient wife!). Then I have a medium coldstone with heathbars. Yes I do. Clarke went and got it for me. I know I'm taking advantage of this, "you're not eating enough" judgment, because I truly AM eating enough, but just in case. You know? It's like research. AND, I decided not to go workout this morning. Instead I am writing this blog.

I think the real problem is an extreme allergy to work. It causes shoulder and neck tension, elevated heart-rate, lack of freetime for naps and writing...plus I NEVER would have watched a Lady Gaga video if I hadn't been at work.

There you have it. It's either an extreme allergy to work OR maybe I'm on too much thyroid medicine now that I am about 75 lbs down from my Christmas 2008 weight.

If I don't die, I'll keep you posted.