Day 6

Saturday's are hard with the food!

I did the marketing though and got some of the TJ's egg white salad as well as bags of lemons for the morning lemon water...plus lots of other fruits and vegetables and organic meats, so I'm in good shape for the upcoming week. Preparing for the week's food is such a key part of being successful with eating. When there are good/safe choices in the fridge or on the counter I will eat those before searching out something less healthy and more delicious...why are things less healthy more delicious (I blame politicians!)...

Anyway, planning, preparing and holding steady are my secrets to long term improvements and long term change.

This makes me want to tell a story.

I have a history of being all or nothing...of going big or going home. I have a close friend who told me recently that he wanted to have quick weight loss before he started investigating some of his difficulties or changing some of his less noble behaviors. And this clicked with me. That's how I've tried to live my life forever--if I lose 20 lbs. then I'll take a look at stopping gossiping or being nicer to people who bug me. Then I needed to lose 40 lbs. before changing a behavior. Then it was 60, then 80 and then 100...in December it was about 170 lbs I needed to lose. And all to avoid the discomfort of examining my life and examining the reasons why I overeat and live my life overweight.

These last 5 years I have moved up and down with being willing to examine my life and find the underlying reasons why I "use" food and what it does for me. Today, thankfully, I realize that I will never be able to get rid of the weight unless I examine. For me the cart is weight loss and healthy weight management; the horse is examination and especially change. I have to be willing to put the horse first--to pull with the energy of honesty and change and to let whatever is going to happen fall into place.

This year slow and steady has been the key for me...the horse is more of a donkey and it moves stubbornly and slowly. But I feel great hope that the changes in my body have a better chance of being successful because I'm endeavoring to change from the inside out.