Just this morning I was in my prayer pod (aka car) on the way to work and I was saying, "You may already know that I am struggling with food right now. I'd really like that to be changed. I know I've said I'd like the weight to just fall off. I know I've said I'd like to eat like Robin J. and look like her too. I know I've communicated quite clearly that I'd like to eat all I want and have none of the consequences...but today I'm ready for You, dear God, to give me willingness to eat what I'm supposed to eat, to exercise the way I'm supposed to eat, to work they way I must work."
And then I asked for the grace to accept the reality of my personality. I will always want to turn to food for comfort, to assuage boredom, to entertain, to console... I have wanted to pretend that I could eat well and behave well for a period of time (22 months once) and then I'd be "cured." Well, not so much. I prayed for acceptance of my compulsion so that I can learn to live with it instead of trying to pretend that I can actually purge it.
Suddenly I feel overwhelmed. Is that Faith leaving the building? Come back Faith! I need you!
1 comment:
How is it going now. I love ya!
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