Nesting

In February I called an entry The Nest...and here I am with the same metaphor again. I have always ascribed to the belief that when I come back to the same thing time and again, or if different friends suggest the same book/thought/solution, then it's God communicating with me. To be completely honest and fair, I used to believe that if something awful happened--the kids developing a chronic illness, a car accident, the death of a pet--that it was God's way of punishing me. More on punishment later. Right now I am asserting that God communicates with us, often, via other people, not via tragedies and disasters. Perhaps the tragedies & disasters God is a remnant from my southern roots--or perhaps it just feels the most comfortable to me as a religious person, a Mormon person, or as an adult survivor of dysfunction. But I am straying from my topic, which today, is not punishment.

Today it is about nesting. My friend Sherise sent me this link on Tuesday: http://www.ustream.tv/theowlbox. I have been mesmerized ever since. I showed the video to every class that visited the lab this week. I pointed out specific details to the 6th graders (many are dissecting owl pellets right now), and I surprised myself by watching it at home. I have teared up several times, I have shaken my head in amazement and wonder, I have told numerous friends about this miracle. And now I am wondering why I am so profoundly moved by this owl mother and her nest and her 4 owlets (it looks like the 5th one won't hatch, which is devastating and yet totally natural).

Take at look at the site and you will see that the eggs were laid on February 15th and the oldest chick is 12 days old today. You will see how tired the momma is and how hard she works to make sure her chicks are fed. She leaves the nest once a day for a flight, and last night, right before she appeared, I heard the most incredible sound of wind. It turned out to be the sound of her wings--her powerful and surprisingly large wings--bringing her home to her nest. You will be amazed that she does all that she does without hands, fingers or opposable thumbs. She does it all without a word, and with barely a break. She does it all day long while the dad bird is resting. And she does it all night long, alone. She is, in my opinion, in the trenches of motherhood. What drives her? What on earth makes her think, "I will now take care of babies. I will make sure they have enough to eat before I eat. I will make sure they are safe and warm before I get some exercise." ?

There's more in here. And when I scratch and peck and dig at it, I find that very soon, just a few weeks from now, her babies will be grown. They will be crowding her out of her own nest. They will be learning how to fly, and then they will. As Jeanine once said, "fly birdie, fly." And that's it. That's where all my hopes and prayers and energies are perched right now. The birdies need to fly. What will this momma teach her babies in less than a month that they will have to rely upon for the rest of their lives? What on earth will this momma do when her babies are gone and the nest is empty?

I am learning a lot from Molly the owl. I am learning, feeling, struggling and praying. I know this will not be my last nesting post. As long as Molly is being filmed I will be watching her to learn what to do now. Just as I watch all women to find out what to do next. Which dance step? Which behavior? Which duty? I am looking at mother's for mothering. And I am looking at birdies and praying they will fly.